Problems teach us better questions...

“Each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reversed. Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only respond by being responsible. Responsibleness is the very essence of human existence.”

 

-Victor Frankl

In “A Man’s Search for Meaning,” Victor Frankl spoke about human life being divided much like frames in a movie.  Frankl explained that we cannot understand a whole movie from watching a part of it.  The end of the movie is where we receive the clarity in meaning. The same holds true for life.

Before reading Frankl’s book, I was a goal setter and achiever.  I had already achieved many great feats to include, a master degree - despite my disability, four years in the Marine Corps, gazed at two of the seven wonders of the world, overcame my fear of heights through rock climbing, and completed two 70.3 triathlons when I did not know how to swim, bike, or run.  I had to learn how to do these activities from the perspective of a triathlete. I had more goals set in the future to include the Ironman World Championships, see the rest of the wonders of the world, ascend the 7 summits, and earn a Doctorate degree. It was very exciting to look to the past and the future.

However, I felt unfulfilled in the current moment.  This was a sobering as I sat in a desert wash alone, in the bottom of the Grand Canyon, in the middle of the Mohave Desert.   I reflected on the past and realized at every moment I was not truly happy. Just like this moment.  How could I feel happy about my reflections of the past and future, but not be happy during any of the moments?  This caused me to ask many questions: What is the point? What am I here for? Why do I have all these goals?  Do I have delusions about my own happiness?  Is God really God? Am I really Christian?  How do I feel about love? What is happiness really? Is there such a thing as a soul mate? What about past lives? What is reality? I decided to stop setting goals and search for meaning inside myself. Two years into my amazing journey, I read Frankl’s book.  

After reading the quote above, my life changed completely. This was the point where the knowledge I had about my outside search for meaning became inner meaning.  Meditation did not have to be the only time I lived in the moment.  I saw the significance in every moment. In the past, I always searched for the end of the movie.  I rushed through life seeing every moment as being insignificant but only as a set up for the next. I had to rush and get this moment done so I could move to the next one.  I was always in a hurry! I was never satisfied with what was occurring now.  I never enjoyed riding my bike, swimming in the ocean, or just simply taking a shower.  Everything was a means to an end.

Now, I truly practice that every moment is significant.  I look at every moment and see the miracles in it.  As I take a shower, I feel the warm water on my skin; I dry off and give thanks for that part of my body; I reflect when I walk; I feel all my feelings, and the list goes on.  I now have the answer and feel very happy in my moments.  In closing, Dr. Oliver stated in class that all great answers lead to more great questions.  And so, Dr Frankl’s answer led me to more great questions in which I am happily on a path to answer.  I begin a new journey where fulfillment is not the goal but the feelings of unfulfillment is the question in itself.  What is the answer? Ask yourself… Go ahead.  Do it…

Amber Stubbs